Weight: 297.3
Well. What can I say? Nothing really. I screwed up. I got lost. Lost in sadness and grief and pain and anger. So lost that I wasn't sure who I really was anymore. I'm still on the fence most days about who I am now, who I used to be and who I should be. I'm sure I will find myself again someday, but for now, I need to move forward. I need to take control and fix the things that I have broken.
There is a lot going on in the world right now. Quarantines, Safer at Home campaigns, people not following rules, people taking the rules too far, people are struggling, people are dying, people are sick and some people don't seem to care. And honestly, to each their own. The world is crazy right now. No one really knows the full truth of anything going on right now. No one has straight answers. Everything is in between being blown completely out of proportion or is not being given enough highlight. And all any of us can do is go with the flow. Do what we need to do. Make the decisions that you feel are the best for your family and friends. Don't be so quick to judge others on their decisions. They are their decisions, not yours. If you don't like it, move on. No one asked you anyway.
That being said...I have been in so much pain lately that doing ANYTHING makes me miserable. I am the heaviest I believe I have EVER been. I carry all of my weight in my stomach, which only makes my back issues worse. I am so incredibly frustrated with myself. I am mad, sad and angry that I let myself go this far. I took the below pictures this morning and considered crawling back into bed where no one would be able to see me. What have I done? Why did I do this? I tend to not look at myself in side profile...mainly because, again, I carry all my weight in my stomach. Looking at me from the front or behind doesn't quite show the extent of my spiral. I considered not sharing these photos, but I think I need too. For me, I need to. So, here we go.
And with that said, we have officially started our 2020 Whole30 Journey. I will be posting monthly weigh in pictures and weekly weigh in updates. I am also going to try to make a page here on the blog strictly for recipes. I have had quite a few people ask me for recipes over on my Facebook page so I am thinking this will be the best place to stick them!
My goal to start things off is going to be -30 lbs by August 22nd. This will put me at 267.3 lbs before hoping in the car to go to Hatteras this year. I will be happy with that!
If anyone has some super easy Whole30 meals they would like to recommend I would greatly appreciate it. I need to get back into walking again as well. I really enjoyed going for my walks but finding the time to do so here lately has been a real struggle.
For dinner last night I made Chicken Apple Sausages with green beans and fried potatoes. The recipe is actually for Turkey Apple Sausage, but I used Ground Chicken instead of Turkey. The recipe is here: https://therealfoodrds.com/turkey-apple-sausage-patties/
Thank you all for coming along with me on this journey, AGAIN. Hopefully I can get my shit together and lose this weight for good!
