R5: D21

Current Weight: 261.2

Well Hello Again! Have I mentioned that I am terrible at this whole blogging thing??? Sigh.

I am not even going to try to put things in order at this point. Its been two weeks and I am certain my brain is still somewhere else. **I ended up putting things in order anyway. Shocker right?!**

I did get to meal prep last Tuesday, the 8th. It definitely made me feel like I was trying to get my shit together.

On Thursday I made a shrimp stir fry for dinner. On Friday I made a new to us recipe. Grilled Chicken BLT Salad with Peppercorn Ranch dressing! Holy wow that was good! I am normally not a fan of homemade Ranch dressings, but this one was delicious!!!!

Saturday was the big talent show at Gwen's school carnival. Her and Chrissy did awesome!!!!! I am super proud of both of them! Gwen wanted sparkly hair, so I tried my hand at the whole glitter hair trend. I don't think I did too terrible!

Sunday was Mothers Day! We normally don't do anything for Mothers Day, so I was super surprised when I was brought a hand written card and a box!

Adding to my collection! I adore these statues!!!

Monday, the 14th, was awful. I felt like straight crap. My stomach had started messing with me on Sunday and it just got worse. I ended up staying home and cuddling with my kitten in bed. Gwen still had to go to Gymnastics, so I was thankful that as the afternoon went on I was feeling a bit better. I sat in the lobby of the gymnastics place just praying my stomach would let me wait to get home before doing anything stupid. That was the night all the crazy rain started! The weather people were throwing the Derecho word around for a while. It was a great thunder and lightning show with a lot of rain, but nothing major on our end. Got a bit of cardio in running to the car trying not to get hit by lightning on the way out. Ask me how my tummy felt after that! Ugh!

Tuesday, the 15th, it was a bit warm and muggy. I waited as long as I could to go for my walk knowing my body hates the heat and tends to make me vomit all over the place when I get to hot. Thankfully, I didn't vomit and I got my walk in! Win!

Wednesday, the 16th, was when the rain moved in and STAYED. FOREVER! Olaf was in rare form that day....

Our ponchos came in so I talked Gwen into going for a walk with me. She jumped in every single puddle we came across. I'm not mad. She had fun and we both got exercise.

Thursday, the 17th, I ended up missing my walk. I had to go to Mom's to get some things down there situated. Friday evening was a catch up evening. The pig needed a bath, so he got one. He was not pleased. He smells so much better now tho! And he is so soft!

Celery bribes fix everything!

Saturday was a Me and Hubby Day! We dropped off the small child at Chrissy's house and booked it to Busch Gardens. We had an amazing day in the rain! Ate some good food. Rode some cool rides. Ate some more good food. Painted some pottery. And drove home before dark. Not bad!

I cant wait to see how the dragons turn out! 

Will on the left.

Erin on the right. 

Sunday we continued the good food theme. (This has to stop!!!) We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and then headed to Toys R Us to buy stuff! Because we need more stuff like a hole in our head. However, Gwen's birthday gifts are DONE. (I guess I should start working on her actual party shouldn't I?! Oops!) And we have more guns in the arsenal for NERF war in NC.

When we got home I went to work on my grocery list and meal menu for the week. Will put up the dry erase thing and glow in the dark stars in Gwen's room. Mom stopped by the house before heading to the store so we could figure out her Internet issue. I headed over to pick up Gwen before heading to the store....I should have taken her tired attitudinal self home and put her to bed instead of taking her to the store. Lord Help Me.

We had leftover stew for dinner and I meal prepped breakfasts for the week before heading to bed at 11 last night.

I need help! Did you see the Current Weight Number? How the hell am I ever going to reach my goals if I cant keep non compliant food OUT OF MY MOUTH! In my heart and mind I know what I need to do...I just lack the will power. I am super good at telling myself "One nutty buddy bar isn't going to kill you!" 3 bars later I want to punch myself in the face! What are your tips and tricks on how to stay on track? What helps to keep you motivated?

At the moment, I am not very motivated at all. I feel like I am just going to fail at this so whats the point? I know I have made a lot of progress so far, but I cant help but see a fat failure in the mirror here lately.

I have written 249.9 on the freezer at home to help keep me in check. I have even written it on a sticky here at the office and stuck it to my monitor. What gets me is when I am in the car. My brain says "You have cash. No one will ever know you stopped for that mocha latte." Substitute any number of non compliant crap for Mocha Latte and there you have my brain.

I need some suggestions. HELP!

R5:D8

Current Weight: 260.1 lbs

The past week has been...hectic. There has been a lot of running and racing and not going to bed until late....and then not being able to fall asleep to save my life. So, this will yet again be another post that is kind of all over the place.

We will start here...This place....This is and will always be...my home.

There really is no place like it! I have come to realize as I have gotten older how much I really took this place for granted. The drive to get there...or anywhere close to civilization from there...takes 30 minutes. And that is if you aren't stuck behind some guy doing 30 miles an hour all the way out to 301! This is where I spent my day on Tuesday, May 1st. Sometimes, it really is good for the soul to go home.

The rest of my week was filled with non compliance. I didn't cook the Sunday before so I had nothing made for breakfasts. I think I cooked ground beef and sweet taters for Will's breakfasts on like Wednesday night. I believe I made my sausages then too. I really can't remember.

Even though I wasn't eating completely W30 during the week, I was certainly trying to get my exercise in! Walks and bike rides are good for the soul as well! However, I don't remember riding a bike as kids to be as hell bent on killing me as I found it to be the other night though. I am still pretty sure that had Will not been with me I would have just laid on the sidewalk and died at one point. With him being there, my pride kept me from curling up in the fetal position on the sidewalk.

I generally did a lot of catching up on me time in the evenings after going for walks/bike rides and making dinner. I got to spend some time cuddling with the pig.

He doesn't like it when I give him mohawks! Silly pig!

I even got to capture the Olaf in his natural habitat! Getting into mischief!

On Saturday, Chi and I headed out early to hit the grocery store. We even got a selfie session in!

Then we met up with Mom and got our nails done! Then on to lunch - Not compliant in the least. Then to Best Buy and Michaels. We were supposed to take photos of a house going up for sale, but the property manager didn't have the keys ready. Then we headed to Mom's house to set up the new organizer and TV. We left there around 8:20 pm. We stopped on the way home and saw my Becca! Then on to McD for dinner for Chi and home we went. I had a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich for dinner. Because it was 9:30 pm, I was hungry, tired and sore and didn't give two shits about what I ate. So there.

Sunday we all woke up LATE. Like 9:15 am late. So we all got up and got ready. To McD's for breakfast. Then Toys R Us for more NERF for Will's arsenal. Pickings are slim but still pretty good! Then to Famous Footwear. Will needed new shoes. Gwen needed new sandals. I wanted sparkly sandals. We struck out on my sandals. Damn wide feet and high arches! Ugh. Then over to T-mobile to replace Gwen's phone, cause hers died. Hers was an S2. We knew it was coming. While there, Will asked me if I wanted the S9. Silly husband asking silly questions! Of course I WANT the S9. But we are supposed to be saving money. We have goals. And now I have an S9. Because my husband spoils me. And I'm not mad.

So then we went and dropped Gwen at Chrissy's house to practice for the talent show this coming Friday and Saturday. Huge shout out to Denise and family for taking that on! Then over to Best Buy for a new Roku and back to T-Mobile to pick up my new phone. Then to continue our weekend of non compliance, we went to Ledo's for lunch and then to Sweet Frog for dessert.

Why yes! My first picture with the new phone was of ice cream! 

Your point?

We then went home to contemplate why we do this to ourselves! Sure that food was delicious, but we both felt like absolute crap and bloated afterwards! Oh ice cream. Why do you taunt us so!?

We took a short walk over to pick up Gwen around 7:00 pm. I had wanted to go all the way around the circle, but Will was breaking in his new shoes and already had a blister! :(  So we took the path home, which really ended up being fine. Gwen got ready for bed and hit the hay! We stayed up, because we are responsible hard working adults, and ate crab legs!

Now we get to the part of this post that has a lot of my attention. Yesterday.

Yesterday...I wanted to eat anything and everything I could get my hands on. I had ground beef and sweet taters for breakfast. A banana for snack. Roast beef with carrots and taters for lunch. Banana for snack. Then it all went to hell in a hand basket. Even if I could have controlled myself, I didn't want to! I needed ALL the food. When I got home I grabbed the bucket of strawberries and ate some of them on the way to Gwen's gymnastics class. They weren't helping. Peanut M&M's for the win! Except now I needed salty. Chedder and Sour Cream chips! Yes!!!! Crunchy and salty - GIMME!

By the time we got home it was after 8 pm. We both had Ramen Noodle Soup. I had some Crunchy Peanut Butter. On a spoon. By itself. Because I could. Then I had a banana. Then I told everyone in my house that it was bedtime because if I was conscious for any more of this day I was going to eat EVERYTHING in the house. EVERYTHING! So to bed we went...only to be woken up at 11:30 pm by the sounds of a PB & J sandwich calling my name. Loudly. So I ate it...so it would shut up.

Y'all. What the hell is my problem! I am not much better today! This is stupid! I am craving beef and mushrooms like you wouldn't believe. Rice needs to be in my life. WTH?!

I can't even really say that I have been doing well! Because I haven't! At the moment, I am feeling pretty deprived, which is freaking stupid. I make some kick ass dinners on whole30! What the actual f*** is going on right now? I get that I haven't been cooking on Sundays like I should, and I am beginning to think that if I don't get that meal prep day in, it throws my entire week off schedule after that. And the kicker with that is that this past Sunday I totally COULD have done the meal prep. I chose not to. I chose to spend the day with Will and Gwen out and about instead of standing in the kitchen over the stove all afternoon. And I'm not mad about that! I can't be! I have an amazing husband who works more hours in one week then some people do in an entire month. When he is actually able to walk away from his desk and spend time with me and Chi, we are totally taking advantage of that. I also have a super cool kid who is smart and funny and a lot of fun to hang out with! Sure she can be a complete blonde at times, but what 8 year old can't!? I refuse to feel bad about hanging out with my family. Laundry, housework and cooking will be there when we get back.

Tonight I will attempt to put myself back on track. I have 2 breakfasts to make for the rest of the week and dinner to make for tonight as well. The ground beef needs to be weighed and put into 2 lb packages for easier use. Tomorrow I will get my shit together and do what I know I need to do.

Today...today I am doing whatever the heck I want. I will eat whatever the rest of the office is having for lunch and I will enjoy every bit of it. I woke up this morning feeling pretty and confident and a whole lot more like the me I used to know and love. The more I am on this journey, the more I see that it is so much more then just about the weight loss. Learning to love yourself again and feel comfortable in your own skin is intimidating and scary and amazing and freeing.

That outfit is actually a dress. That ends at my knees. Anyone who knows me knows I normally only wear dresses or skirts that are long. I'm not a fan of my legs. I have huge calves and big feet. Today...today I don't care. I look great! I feel great! I still have a long way to go, but I will get there.

Mark My Words: 

R5:D1

Current Weight: 259.7 lbs
Total Lost: 27.0 lbs

I am the exact same weight that I was on April 1st. I had a lot of ups and downs this month. There are some personal things going on that I am not at liberty to talk about quite yet, and while I know that that is an excuse, I own it. I am a stress eater. I have talked about it before. I actually got down to 254.0 lbs this past month and met my goal of 256.7 lbs. But I certainly didn't stay there. I know what I have done. I was lax and threw caution to the wind. I ate what I wanted and only half heartedly tried to do what was right. I know this. I acknowledge it. I shall move on.

First Thing First! Pictures!

Complete with kitten photo bomb!

Yes, I took these pics in a different shirt. Let me just start by saying how much I LOVE this shirt! I looked at these pictures yesterday after Gwen took them and almost decided I wasn't going to put up pictures this month. I feel fat and bloated (because you know I haven't been 100% compliant in like 2 weeks) and I feel like I look huge. But then I remember that the whole point of this blog is to help keep me accountable and motivated. So just before starting on this post, I went into the bathroom and put on the LikeAGlove shorts and did my measurements. This is the first time I have taken them since March 10th.

        1st set - 2/11/18                       Newest Readings: 5/1/18

High Waist: -3.0 in

Low Waist: -2.5 in

High Hips: -1.6 in

Low Hips: -1.6 in

You guys! I'm not mad! I am super glad I decided to go take those measurements now. I might feel like I look like 2 ton Tessie, but I am a shrinking 2 ton Tessie!

I am trying to get exercise in whenever I can. The past couple weeks have been pretty tough, but I managed to get some in here and there. This past Saturday Will and I took our bikes over to the Indian Head Rail Trail and did 3.87 miles. Not bad for my first time back on a bike in like 10 years. My thighs were cussing me afterwards tho! Sucks to be them tho...its about to happen more often!

My Garmin Vivofit3 died on me last week. So I ordered a Vivofit4. Its slimmer then the 3 and has a color display. I was also able to get this one in a REGULAR arm band. My 3 was an Extra Large. I was hoping it would automatically pick up cycling with the Move IQ feature, but it didn't. I will have to figure out how to get that info into the device for next time.

We use MapMyWalk and MapMyRide for our walks and bike routes. I love that app. It runs in the background so I can still listen to my music and it alerts me when I have reached each mile marker.

Gwen started gymnastics last night. My lord that child is flexible. I think she will do really really well in this class. The instructors are super nice and take the time to work with each child individually as well as as a group. She was nervous she wasn't going to make new friends and that people would laugh at her if she messed up on something. I laughed in her face...cause I'm a great Mom! This kid can make friends with trees! Seriously! If you have ever met her, you instantly love her. She is just that type of person! And she did mess up ... and NO ONE laughed! Because everyone is gonna mess up on things when they are first learning them. She is better now and she cant wait till next Monday's class!

This post is kind of all over the place. I am so incredibly tired and my brain is refusing to form thoughts. My kitten is currently trying to convince me that a nap is in order! I'm trying to convince myself that I should go get my bike off the wall out front and go ride! Or at least to go walk the circle. Dinner is in the crock pot. I have no reason to stay in the house unless I am going to take that nap. Part of me wants to take some time and just relax and then when the kids (husband included) get home we can all go for a nice ride. Who am I kidding? He will have to work and Chi will want to go play with her friends...after she cleans her room because...death. We will just leave that there.

All in all, not the best month. A lot going on emotionally, mentally and physically. I keep saying this, but I just need to get my shit together. Today starts a new month. So far so good.

We have a special trip planned in June and I am super excited about it. We are surprising the girls with some pretty cool trips. One of which will require me to wear a bathing suit. Ya'll should run for your lives now. Don't Wait. Run NOW! Ugh.

Current Goal: 249.9 by May 31st. Anything over and above that is gravy. Wish me luck!