The past week has been...hectic. There has been a lot of running and racing and not going to bed until late....and then not being able to fall asleep to save my life. So, this will yet again be another post that is kind of all over the place.
We will start here...This place....This is and will always be...my home.
There really is no place like it! I have come to realize as I have gotten older how much I really took this place for granted. The drive to get there...or anywhere close to civilization from there...takes 30 minutes. And that is if you aren't stuck behind some guy doing 30 miles an hour all the way out to 301! This is where I spent my day on Tuesday, May 1st. Sometimes, it really is good for the soul to go home.
The rest of my week was filled with non compliance. I didn't cook the Sunday before so I had nothing made for breakfasts. I think I cooked ground beef and sweet taters for Will's breakfasts on like Wednesday night. I believe I made my sausages then too. I really can't remember.
Even though I wasn't eating completely W30 during the week, I was certainly trying to get my exercise in! Walks and bike rides are good for the soul as well! However, I don't remember riding a bike as kids to be as hell bent on killing me as I found it to be the other night though. I am still pretty sure that had Will not been with me I would have just laid on the sidewalk and died at one point. With him being there, my pride kept me from curling up in the fetal position on the sidewalk.
I generally did a lot of catching up on me time in the evenings after going for walks/bike rides and making dinner. I got to spend some time cuddling with the pig.
He doesn't like it when I give him mohawks! Silly pig!
I even got to capture the Olaf in his natural habitat! Getting into mischief!
On Saturday, Chi and I headed out early to hit the grocery store. We even got a selfie session in!
Then we met up with Mom and got our nails done! Then on to lunch - Not compliant in the least. Then to Best Buy and Michaels. We were supposed to take photos of a house going up for sale, but the property manager didn't have the keys ready. Then we headed to Mom's house to set up the new organizer and TV. We left there around 8:20 pm. We stopped on the way home and saw my Becca! Then on to McD for dinner for Chi and home we went. I had a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich for dinner. Because it was 9:30 pm, I was hungry, tired and sore and didn't give two shits about what I ate. So there.
Sunday we all woke up LATE. Like 9:15 am late. So we all got up and got ready. To McD's for breakfast. Then Toys R Us for more NERF for Will's arsenal. Pickings are slim but still pretty good! Then to Famous Footwear. Will needed new shoes. Gwen needed new sandals. I wanted sparkly sandals. We struck out on my sandals. Damn wide feet and high arches! Ugh. Then over to T-mobile to replace Gwen's phone, cause hers died. Hers was an S2. We knew it was coming. While there, Will asked me if I wanted the S9. Silly husband asking silly questions! Of course I WANT the S9. But we are supposed to be saving money. We have goals. And now I have an S9. Because my husband spoils me. And I'm not mad.
So then we went and dropped Gwen at Chrissy's house to practice for the talent show this coming Friday and Saturday. Huge shout out to Denise and family for taking that on! Then over to Best Buy for a new Roku and back to T-Mobile to pick up my new phone. Then to continue our weekend of non compliance, we went to Ledo's for lunch and then to Sweet Frog for dessert.
Why yes! My first picture with the new phone was of ice cream!
Your point?
We then went home to contemplate why we do this to ourselves! Sure that food was delicious, but we both felt like absolute crap and bloated afterwards! Oh ice cream. Why do you taunt us so!?
We took a short walk over to pick up Gwen around 7:00 pm. I had wanted to go all the way around the circle, but Will was breaking in his new shoes and already had a blister! :( So we took the path home, which really ended up being fine. Gwen got ready for bed and hit the hay! We stayed up, because we are responsible hard working adults, and ate crab legs!
Now we get to the part of this post that has a lot of my attention. Yesterday.
Yesterday...I wanted to eat anything and everything I could get my hands on. I had ground beef and sweet taters for breakfast. A banana for snack. Roast beef with carrots and taters for lunch. Banana for snack. Then it all went to hell in a hand basket. Even if I could have controlled myself, I didn't want to! I needed ALL the food. When I got home I grabbed the bucket of strawberries and ate some of them on the way to Gwen's gymnastics class. They weren't helping. Peanut M&M's for the win! Except now I needed salty. Chedder and Sour Cream chips! Yes!!!! Crunchy and salty - GIMME!
By the time we got home it was after 8 pm. We both had Ramen Noodle Soup. I had some Crunchy Peanut Butter. On a spoon. By itself. Because I could. Then I had a banana. Then I told everyone in my house that it was bedtime because if I was conscious for any more of this day I was going to eat EVERYTHING in the house. EVERYTHING! So to bed we went...only to be woken up at 11:30 pm by the sounds of a PB & J sandwich calling my name. Loudly. So I ate it...so it would shut up.
Y'all. What the hell is my problem! I am not much better today! This is stupid! I am craving beef and mushrooms like you wouldn't believe. Rice needs to be in my life. WTH?!
I can't even really say that I have been doing well! Because I haven't! At the moment, I am feeling pretty deprived, which is freaking stupid. I make some kick ass dinners on whole30! What the actual f*** is going on right now? I get that I haven't been cooking on Sundays like I should, and I am beginning to think that if I don't get that meal prep day in, it throws my entire week off schedule after that. And the kicker with that is that this past Sunday I totally COULD have done the meal prep. I chose not to. I chose to spend the day with Will and Gwen out and about instead of standing in the kitchen over the stove all afternoon. And I'm not mad about that! I can't be! I have an amazing husband who works more hours in one week then some people do in an entire month. When he is actually able to walk away from his desk and spend time with me and Chi, we are totally taking advantage of that. I also have a super cool kid who is smart and funny and a lot of fun to hang out with! Sure she can be a complete blonde at times, but what 8 year old can't!? I refuse to feel bad about hanging out with my family. Laundry, housework and cooking will be there when we get back.
Tonight I will attempt to put myself back on track. I have 2 breakfasts to make for the rest of the week and dinner to make for tonight as well. The ground beef needs to be weighed and put into 2 lb packages for easier use. Tomorrow I will get my shit together and do what I know I need to do.
Today...today I am doing whatever the heck I want. I will eat whatever the rest of the office is having for lunch and I will enjoy every bit of it. I woke up this morning feeling pretty and confident and a whole lot more like the me I used to know and love. The more I am on this journey, the more I see that it is so much more then just about the weight loss. Learning to love yourself again and feel comfortable in your own skin is intimidating and scary and amazing and freeing.
Mark My Words:
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