Week 11 - Oops!

Current Weight: 288.9

Weight Gain: 3.8

Total Loss: 8.6

7/31 - 285.1  

8/1 - 284.6      -.5

8/2 - 284.7      +.1

8/3 - 286.4      +1.7

8/4 - 286.5      +.1

8/5 - 289.4      +2.9

8/6 - 287.7      -1.7

8/7 - 286.6      -1.1

8/8 - 287.4      +.8

8/9 - 285.9      -1.5

8/10 - 287.9    +2.0

8/11 - 287.6    -.3

8/12 - 289.6    +2.0

8/13 - 288.7    -.9

8/14 - 288.9    +.2

Hi Everyone!!!! I just need to take a moment and apologize! I completely forgot to update last week! Oops! Oh well. As you can see by my awesome weigh ins, the past two weeks have been...weird. But I guess that just goes along with being me! 

I have some things going on that are making me kind of eat my feelings so I know I'm not doing exactly what I am supposed to. At this point I am just glad I haven't gone back into the 290's! I have made some terrible food choices lately and I know it. But I am getting myself back on track and moving forward. 

I did want to share a few recipes that I found that my people have told me are awesome. 

Olive Garden Chicken Pasta

Tip: Do NOT add salt! I promise it doesn't need it! I added salt and I won't do that again! Will and Gwen ate this stuff like it was going out of style! Normally I have leftovers for a few days and even maybe have to throw stuff out. Not this stuff. GONE! I think the leftovers lasted like 3 days in the fridge. 

Scallop Noodles - Ya'll. I'm not even joking when I say this is the easiest recipe EVER. I wanted scallops. And I needed something to go with them. So I made noodles. Just Pasta-Roni noodles. These were the Parmesan Noodles. Scallops were pan seared in butter and garlic with a splash of lemon juice. So...Very...Good! And if you aren't a fan of scallops, make some shrimp! Or even fish! 

Shrimp Po'Boy's - This is one of Will's favorite recipes! Super easy and super yummy! I normally have to get the peeled/deveined shrimp with the tail still on and then just pull the tails before I cook them. But sometimes I get lucky and can find just the shrimp meat. Will loves his on a sub roll with lettuce and tomato. I prefer mine as just the shrimp with some of the sauce for the sandwiches. The sauce is nice and smooth with a spicy kick. Just enough to let you know you are eating something amazing. I don't use the peanut oil to cook the shrimp, I just use veg oil. Peanut oil is expensive! If you haven't ever tried a po'boy - try this one! 

We have 1 week until vacation and I can not begin to tell you all how excited I am! Did I meet my weight loss goal? Nope. But I feel better! I am very much looking forward to sitting on the beach with a drink in my hand and listening to the waves! This vacation is going to be very different from all our other vacations. Social Distancing, Masks, Our normal places are closed, Restaurants only doing take out. Its going to be different, but we will be just fine! 

Let me know if you all try any of the above recipes and what you think! Have a good week guys! 

Week 9 - Well That's Different!

Current Weight: 285.1

Weight Loss: 5.1

Total Loss: 12.4

7/24 - 290.2

7/25 - 286.9  down 3.3

7/26 - 287.7  up .8

7/27 - 288.1  up .4

7/28 - 289.2  up 1.1

7/29 - 287.9  down 1.3

7/30 - 286.9  down 1

7/31 - 285.1  down 1.8

Well, Damn! That's what I am talking about!! Not Mad! 

I am sticking to my eating schedule, mostly. The original plan was to have something small for dinner each night, like a salad. But (I swear I'm humble y'all!) I make some really good dinners! I ate smaller portions then I normally do and that was that. Shake for breakfast, good lunch, bowl of cereal for snack and a reasonable dinner. Who knew?! I am enjoying the hell out of my shakes too! They are so good! I haven't become adventurous enough to try anything other then my normal, maybe one day. For now, chocolate banana peanut butter is where its at! 

As far as the Chloe Ting Challenge I was doing...did you catch that? WAS! Yeah, that chick is nuts. And I may be as well, but I decided, along with my poor husband, that we should find something that doesn't try to kill us right off the bat. I will say that I enjoyed pushing myself and I saw definite improvement the more I did. But the getting up and down from the floor was KILLING my back. So, we nixed it. I re-downloaded the app that I was using a few years ago that I really liked and will start back on that! At the moment I am having some pain that I am trying to get rid of....I had cucumber on my salad because they are delicious and I wasn't thinking and now my diverticulosis is stubbornly talking to me about my stupid choices. 

All in all, its been a regular week. I try my best to get all my steps in each day, which might sound silly to some, but I have a desk job. I have my fitbit set to notify me if I haven't taken 250 steps 10 minutes before each hour. The goal is to have 9 consecutive hours of 250+ steps. So, whenever my notification goes off I get up and do laps around the office or out in the warehouse. When I crawled into bed last night I needed 120 more steps to hit my daily goal. I am certain Chi thought I was nuts because I got up and started doing laps from my bedroom, through the hallway and around her room until I got my steps in. It made her laugh, so that's a win! 

That's about it for now. We are having dinner with my Brother In-law and his girlfriend and my Father In-Law Saturday evening to discuss food plans for North Carolina! Yes, we are having food to discuss food. I am praying nothing happens to cancel our vacation. I really need to take myself to the beach and sit my ass in the sand...while drinking a sand castle bucket of alcohol! Possibly with a small umbrella in it. At this point I don't even care if we can't do anything except sit on the beach. I'm totally down! Movie nights and beach days. Not mad. 

I hope you all have a great week and I will talk to you later! 

Week 8 - Doing A Little Better

Current Weight: 290.2

Weight Loss: .6

Total Loss: 7.3

7/17 - 290.8

7/18 - 290.8

7/19 - 291.6  up .8

7/20 - 292.2  up .6

7/21 - 293.1  up .9

7/22 - 291.9  down 1.2

7/23 - 290.6  down 1.3

7/24 - 290.2  down .4

Hi Guys! I have to admit I am pretty darn proud of myself this week! I have started a new food regimen, which seems to be working fairly well at the moment. 

Breakfast is a 310 shake with Almond Milk, 1 Banana, Ice and 1 Tbsp of peanut butter! Its so very delicious!!!! Lunch is 1 serving of the night before's dinner. I have a small bowl of Special K Chocolatey Delight Cereal with Almond Milk around 3 pm for a snack. Once I'm home, Will and I go downstairs to exercise. After we are done dying, I come back up and put whatever I made for dinner that night (normally a crock pot meal) into containers for tomorrows lunch and then make myself a yummy salad for dinner. This has been working really really well for me this week. 

We also started the Chloe Ting 2 Week Shred Challenge on Sunday. Full Disclaimer: I am NOT doing all of the videos currently. I know, I know. I'm not REALLY doing the challenge, but you know what!? I'm doing SOMETHING! On Sunday we started with Video 1. 

Ya'll, this chick is HARD CORE! The first time doing this video, we both had to take multiple breaks and had a tough time completing each move. Every 3 moves or so we had to pause the video either because we couldn't breathe, or because our bodies said "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" It was ROUGH! But after we were done, we both felt pretty good. I really really struggled with not immediately doing the second video for Day 1. So we did it later that night. 

You guys. If I thought she was the devil before, this sealed the deal. I considered dying right there on my basement floor. We decided just to send Gwen to live with Denise and we would just pass on right there. After that, Will and I sort of re-evaluated our decision making skills. 

So the decision was made, with a lot of guilt on my part, that for the first week we would just do Video 1. And so, we did. Yesterday, Thursday, was our first of 2 rest days. I don't think I have ever been so excited for a Thursday in my life! Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the hell out of doing this routine. I am pushing myself and succeeding! My amazing husband is doing it right along with me! And he seems to be enjoying it as well. I even dragged two of my best friends into these shenanigans! Every night, we check in with each other and cheer each other on! There were a few others that were interested in doing this challenge as well, but they haven't started yet. 

Will and I talked on Wednesday about starting to add in exercises from Video 2 after we are done with Video 1 each night. So starting tonight, we will add in 1 exercise from Video 2. We will continue adding them every other night. Part of the reason for this is that this chick is hard core with her planks. By the time we are done Video 1, anything with a plank in it normally makes us cuss her. A LOT. So we are going to work our way up to being able to do Video's 1 and 2 each day. 

I have to give shout outs to Denise and Lisa! You two are freaking amazing! Doing most or all of the videos listed for each day is inspiring and TOUGH! I'm so glad I have you both on my side, cheering me on. Thank you both for doing this craziness with Will and I. 

Back to Video 1 - By Wednesday, Will and I were both able to do all the exercises with only taking the allotted breaks in between sets. So yeah. I am really freaking proud of myself! REALLY! 

I am headed to pick up Gwen's best friend for a weekend of sleepover fun when I leave work today. Bonus to that is that I get to see Denise! Ha! Tomorrow the girls will go with me when I go over to work with Tia girl in the morning and they will swim while I do all the work! Slackers. Then I will get to spend some time with my friends Pam and Mary. Then its off to the grocery store with Mama. Then home to unload, possibly die in the basement and then order chinese for the not so small children for dinner. 

Weekends are hard because it kind of throws off my rhythm. But I'm sure I will figure it out. 

So there it is guys. My week in a nutshell. I'm pretty proud of myself, my husband and my friends for doing this craziness! I know that I wont meet my original goal of 30 lbs down by August 22nd. But at this point, I will take what I can get and hope that I will be stronger and more physically prepared for Hatteras! 

Are you doing the challenge too? How are you doing? Fill me in! 

Week 7 - Am I A Masochist?

Masochist: Adjective:  enjoying an activity that appears to be painful or tedious.

Current Weight: 290.8

Weight Loss: .5

Total Loss: 6.7

7/9 - 291.3  

7/10 - 291.3  Same

7/11 - 289.5  down 1.8

7/12 - 289.8  up 0.3

7/13 - 292.3  up 2.5

7/14 - 292.7  up 0.4

7/15 - 291.0  down 1.7

7/16 - 292.9  up 1.9

7/17 - 290.8  down 2.1

Have you ever felt like NOTHING you do is right? You eat what you are supposed too and your body gives you a big old EFF YOU! You try to make changes and it all just blows up in your face. Yeah, that has been this week. 

I had/have decided to try out 310 Nutrition. And all in all, I really like it. The shakes are delicious and don't give me that weird rush of energy that makes me want to vomit. They keep me pretty full and are super easy to make. My downfalls have been with dinner. We eat dinner rather late and normally its something carb heavy. I know, I know. Bad Erin. But, But, POTATOES! I digress! I have always kind of wondered if maybe I shouldn't "eat" dinners. I'm beginning to think that's the way to go. So what I think I am going to do is do a shake in the morning with fruits, a decent lunch and then a shake with a salad for dinner. Lets try that for the next week and see how that goes. Now I just have to keep Almond Milk in the house to be able to do so - I am looking at you HUSBAND! 😋😋

Now we are gonna get down to the Masochistic part of this. My husband has told me more then a few times over the 19 years we have been together that I have a pretty decent masochistic streak in me. For instance, if I am sitting on the couch doing nothing I will absently pull my toenail out. You read that correctly. O-U-T, Out. No clue why I do it, but I do it all the damn time. Which is part of why I never go get my toenails done...or lack there of. I will pick a scab even if it hurts enough to make me cry. I will "ignore" my pain to the point of being physically sick - I don't think this one is a masochistic tendency, I think I'm just an idiot on this one. I will legit be doing something to make my own self bleed profusely and not even freaking realize it. He legit has to physically stop me from doing whatever the heck I happen to be doing at that moment. I don't know why I am this way, I just am. Which leads me to this: 

Chloe Ting - 2 Week Shred Challenge

Apparently, the need to legit maim myself is real at this point. So, why not just go all out and just do it. I have watched the videos and I know for a fact there is no way in hell I will be able to do a lot of those moves the first, second or even fifth time I do this workout. She offers really good low impact options for a lot of the moves and I am actually kind of excited to challenge myself on this. William has said he will do the challenge with me. Lisa said she will too! (Ha! Now you have to!) And even Denise said she may do it as well. This challenge looks hard as hell but we all know I enjoy a good challenge! Is my back going to let me do all of these moves, NOPE. Will attempting to do them kill me, NOPE. Will attempting to do this make me stronger mentally, physically and emotionally - I think so! 

So this is it. We start on Sunday! Who is in? Who is gonna ride this train with us?! Its going to be hard and painful but I really think its going to be so worth it. 

Right now, I need to prove to myself that I CAN do it. And not just with the workout. With everything. I can and I will! 

Who is with me!? 

Week 6 - Sigh

July 9, 2020

Current Weight: 291.3

Weight Gain: .5

Total Weight Loss: 6.2

7/2 - 290.8  

7/3 - 291.1  up 0.3

7/4 - 290.8  down 0.3

7/5 - 287.7  down 3.1

7/6 - 290.7  up 3.0

7/7 - 294.8  up 4.1

7/8 - 291.9  down 2.9

7/9 - 291.3  down 0.6

I have some re-thinking to do. Some re-planning. Some days, it just seems that my body hates me. A lot. I am doing the same things every day and get THOSE results. Am I eating stuff I shouldn't? Sure. But who in their right mind gains 7.1 pounds in 2 day? I'm so confused. 

I am not, obviously, in the right frame of mind to really do this Whole30. So something has to change. I have an idea on something I would like to try, but I want to keep it to myself for now. I want to try it for a week and see how it goes. 

My little girl turned 11 yesterday. Her birthday party was this past Saturday, July 4th. It was a fantastic day with amazing people. Swimming, Tubing, Food, Crabs and Fireworks. I always worried about Gwen growing up in the city and not having the type of childhood experiences my brother and I had. I don't think I need to worry anymore. 

I'm sorry this is so short this week. I'm just not feeling well in general. I'm a bit off. The pain is still hanging in there and causing me some grief, which is super fun. But I try to ignore it most of the time. 

Hopefully I will have a better blog entry next week. For now, I hope everyone has a wonderful week/weekend and I will see you next Thursday. 

Week 5 - This One Was Tough

July 2, 2020

Current Weight: 290.8 lbs

Weight Gain: 2.9 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 6.7 lbs

I almost didn't write this post. I feel pretty defeated and angry honestly. And I really just want to go buy a tub of icing and eat myself into a coma. That being said....I got yelled at this morning. For good reason. By my amazing friend, Lisa. Who was very quick to pick up the phone and call me this morning after I texted/im'ed her that I felt defeated about this last week. She proceeded to tell me that she WILL hunt me down and whomp me if I don't cut that crap out. She also reminded me that my body has pretty much held me hostage this past week. 

The pain has been pretty unbearable. To the point of sitting on my heating pad all day and taking more Motrin then I know I probably should. The sad part is that none of it really helped. I still hurt like hell and found myself in tears more often then I would like to admit. I even tried my hand at yoga and made it all of 5 minutes before I couldn't continue. Physically and mentally. Just couldn't continue. I had forgotten how painful it is to lay on my stomach, because you know, when something hurts you don't do it. Sigh. The tiny bit of yoga I did get to do reinforced the fact that I am extremely out of shape. And it TRIED to push me into that whole emotional hole of "what's the point of even trying! You can't do this!". It tried, HARD. But...I DID do 5 whole minutes of something I had never done before. Was it a lot? Nope. Was it more then I have done before? Yep. Will I do it again? YES! I will need to tweak some things as laying on my stomach is excruciatingly painful, but I will continue. I have to. To prove me wrong. 

So, this week has consisted of eating all the things I know better then to eat. Not getting the exercise I know I should be getting. Feeling sorry for myself. Hating myself. Crying over things only I can change, and some things that I can't. And then remembering that I got this. 

I promised pictures. There is literally no difference but I will post them anyway. Because I said I would. 

May 29                                   July 2

May 29                                   July 2

May 29                                     July 2

July 2

If anything, I feel awful and bloated and those pictures show it. But whatever. I am still down 6+ pounds and that is an accomplishment. Is it huge? No, but for me, its progress. And that is all I can hope for at the moment. 

This weekend is July 4th. Gwen is having her birthday party at her very favorite place - Grand Ma Ma and Granddaddy's house on the water. There will be boat rides, tubing, water skiing, swimming and food! I think we are all looking forward to a day on the water with friends and family. 

We will also be holding a toast to 3 very special people. 

(I will not cry as I write this) (Repeat 20x) (Cry anyway)

July 4th will be 2 years since we had to say goodbye to one of my most favorite people on the face of this earth. Sometimes I can still hear her voice. It makes me smile more now then cry, but its still tough. This is one of my favorite pictures of her and Gwen. Mainly because she let Gwen eat chocolate chip cookies in the hot tub with her. Gwen, as well as everyone else, misses her dearly.  

Grandma and Granddad Rye. 

We lost Granddad on September 9, 2017. A freak accident that no one saw coming. 

We lost Grandma on April 16, 2020. Grandma was healthy other then the dementia/Alzheimers that claimed her mind. She was one of the many that contracted COVID-19 and was ultimately called home to be with Granddaddy. 

I am sure that we will toast to more then just these 3 amazing and special people on Saturday. To the ones we lost far to early. But these 3 people are still fresh and raw in our hearts and minds. 

All I can hope for in the next week is to continue to try. To smile. To laugh. To live. To love. I hope to come back next week with a great update and lots of pictures and recipes. For now, I am off to take more Motrin, finish the plans for my beautiful daughters birthday party and enjoy our day together with friends and family. 

Happy 4th Of July my friends! 

Week 4! Really?

June 25, 2020

Current Weight: 287.9 lbs
Weight Loss: +.1 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 9.6 lbs

Here we are. Week 4! Time flies when you are having fun! As you all might have noticed, I gained again this week. 1/10th of a pound. However, lets look at the whole of these last 4 weeks. On average, healthy weight loss is considered at about 2 lbs per week. I AM NOT MAD. I am right where I need to be. Have I screwed up? Yep! Have I beaten myself up over it? Yep! Have I told myself to move forward? Hell Yeah!

Here is something you may or may not know about me. I am EXTREMELY hard on myself. I am super quick to give up on ME. If my friends and family are having a hard time and wanting to give up or give in, I am their BIGGEST cheerleader. Why? Because its who I am as a person. When it comes to Me? I am very very very hard on myself. It is so much easier for me to take that spotlight and put it on others, then it is for me to stand in it. Ever wonder why you don't see pictures of me on vacations and trips? It isn't just because I don't like what I see in those pictures, but because I want to capture as many memories and moments of the people I love and care about so much more then capturing my own moments. I am going to post a few pictures of me below. Pictures that others have taken, mainly my husband, that make me feel one way or another.

Me and My Mini Me. 

I can honestly say this is one of my most favorite pictures of me and my girl. 

This picture is one that William took after my best friend, Cherie's, wedding! 

Me and My BFF Cherie. Ocean City. A long time ago! 

This picture makes me feel all sorts of ways! It was taken by my best friend Denise's husband, David, at one of Chi's birthday parties over the last few years. Denise is by far one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I am extremely grateful that God put her in my life. She pushes me to step outside my comfort zone and do things that scare me. Like go tubing...behind a boat being driven by my Father. Who's sole purpose that day was to get Denise and I thrown off that tube! 

He succeeded! 

This photo was taken by Denise. This was her Christmas gift to me, which hangs on my laundry room door! Proudly! I don't like the way I look. And you can tell I am obviously uncomfortable having a camera pointed at me. 

This was Will and I's first Christmas together. 2001! My Mom took this photo. Its a photo that I actually like. 

Will took this one. We were at a horse show and he just felt the need to take a picture of me. Its another one I like. Mainly because my hair looked great! LOL

Will sent this one to me the other day with the note "This is my favorite picture of you" Truth be told, I think I look awful. I focus on the things I see wrong. My smile is terrible. My forehead looks huge. My hair is weird. My eyes are different sizes. Give me any picture of me and I will pick it apart. But its HIS favorite picture of me. Albeit he doesn't have too many to choose from, but its his. 

Why did I post these? Because I need to start realizing that it doesn't matter what I think I look like. What matters is how I feel inside. You know how I felt in all of these photos? I felt confident. I felt sure of who I was. I felt beautiful. I felt loved. I felt...like me. Over the last um-teen years I have lost and found myself multiple times over. I have lost and found myself because I let myself go to take care of others and when that task was completed, I had to find myself again. Its who I am as a person and I know and understand that. I can't change who I am. But I can give more of myself, to myself.

This last week has been weird. Let me give you guys a glimpse into the world of my weight.

Thur 6/18 - 287.8
Fri 6/19 - 289.6
Sat 6/20 - 290.3
Sun 6/21 - 291.0
Mon 6/22 - 291.7
Tue 6/23 - 291.4
Wed 6/24 - 288.1
Thur 6/25 - 287.9

Did I eat things I wasn't supposed to? Sure I did. Did I eat enough of those things to cause such weight fluctuations? Obviously I did, although I didn't think I did. I try very very hard not to blame my weight issues on some of the medical issues I have. I feel like if I did, I would just use them as a crutch and then I would get absolutely no where. But the bottom line is this. I do have medical issues that contribute not only to my weight gain but also to my ability to function on some days. I try very very hard to push through and do what I know I need to do and sometimes the outcome of that push is great. But most of the time, it ends up kicking me in the ass.

I am going to be extremely honest here folks. It has been weighing very heavily on my mind that I wont be able to do much of anything when we go on vacation this year. My back is more often then not, not happy with me. The fibromyalgia has gotten...bad...worse...excruciating some days. The pain in my feet, genetic, is sometimes so overwhelming just the thought of standing on them sends me into fits of nausea. Do I know that a lot of my pain is from my weight? Yes. Do I also know that I have pain in my back, feet, shoulder blades, abdomen and joints due to severe medical issues that can not be resolved JUST by losing weight? Yes. I do. Will losing the weight help with the pain? Yes. Will losing the weight completely eliminate the pain? No. It wont. Does that make me feel like this whole weight loss plan is a bunch of crap and completely useless? Sometimes, yes. But at this point, I just want to feel better. That is what this is all about.

If I am being honest, I don't really give 2 shits about the number on the scale. Its just a number. It doesn't define WHO I am. I define who I am.

This has shown up in my news feed like 20 times this morning and I saw it fitting to share it here!

I'm not going to talk about recipes or what I ate this past week. Maybe next week I will be disciplined enough to take pictures to share with you. This week, not so much.

I am having lunch with my amazing Mama today. I am thoroughly enjoying my lunch dates with her lately. This whole COVID-19 situation is wreaking havoc on lots of people in lots of different ways. But I am grateful that she drives all the way to my office each week to spend time with me.

I hope you all have a great next week! I look forward to hearing all of your updates!