Current Weight: 290.8 lbs
Weight Gain: 2.9 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 6.7 lbs
I almost didn't write this post. I feel pretty defeated and angry honestly. And I really just want to go buy a tub of icing and eat myself into a coma. That being said....I got yelled at this morning. For good reason. By my amazing friend, Lisa. Who was very quick to pick up the phone and call me this morning after I texted/im'ed her that I felt defeated about this last week. She proceeded to tell me that she WILL hunt me down and whomp me if I don't cut that crap out. She also reminded me that my body has pretty much held me hostage this past week.
The pain has been pretty unbearable. To the point of sitting on my heating pad all day and taking more Motrin then I know I probably should. The sad part is that none of it really helped. I still hurt like hell and found myself in tears more often then I would like to admit. I even tried my hand at yoga and made it all of 5 minutes before I couldn't continue. Physically and mentally. Just couldn't continue. I had forgotten how painful it is to lay on my stomach, because you know, when something hurts you don't do it. Sigh. The tiny bit of yoga I did get to do reinforced the fact that I am extremely out of shape. And it TRIED to push me into that whole emotional hole of "what's the point of even trying! You can't do this!". It tried, HARD. But...I DID do 5 whole minutes of something I had never done before. Was it a lot? Nope. Was it more then I have done before? Yep. Will I do it again? YES! I will need to tweak some things as laying on my stomach is excruciatingly painful, but I will continue. I have to. To prove me wrong.
So, this week has consisted of eating all the things I know better then to eat. Not getting the exercise I know I should be getting. Feeling sorry for myself. Hating myself. Crying over things only I can change, and some things that I can't. And then remembering that I got this.
I promised pictures. There is literally no difference but I will post them anyway. Because I said I would.
May 29 July 2
May 29 July 2
May 29 July 2
July 2
This weekend is July 4th. Gwen is having her birthday party at her very favorite place - Grand Ma Ma and Granddaddy's house on the water. There will be boat rides, tubing, water skiing, swimming and food! I think we are all looking forward to a day on the water with friends and family.
We will also be holding a toast to 3 very special people.
(I will not cry as I write this) (Repeat 20x) (Cry anyway)
July 4th will be 2 years since we had to say goodbye to one of my most favorite people on the face of this earth. Sometimes I can still hear her voice. It makes me smile more now then cry, but its still tough. This is one of my favorite pictures of her and Gwen. Mainly because she let Gwen eat chocolate chip cookies in the hot tub with her. Gwen, as well as everyone else, misses her dearly.
Grandma and Granddad Rye.
We lost Granddad on September 9, 2017. A freak accident that no one saw coming.
We lost Grandma on April 16, 2020. Grandma was healthy other then the dementia/Alzheimers that claimed her mind. She was one of the many that contracted COVID-19 and was ultimately called home to be with Granddaddy.
I am sure that we will toast to more then just these 3 amazing and special people on Saturday. To the ones we lost far to early. But these 3 people are still fresh and raw in our hearts and minds.
All I can hope for in the next week is to continue to try. To smile. To laugh. To live. To love. I hope to come back next week with a great update and lots of pictures and recipes. For now, I am off to take more Motrin, finish the plans for my beautiful daughters birthday party and enjoy our day together with friends and family.
Happy 4th Of July my friends!
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